Christmas

Christmas has always been my favourite holiday. I know a lot of people complain about the commercialism of the season, but if you take that away it's still the most magical time of the year. Over the last decade or so, there's been growing debate as to whether it's more appropriate to say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays; I say who cares!? Yes Christmas can be stressful, but I think more people need to take the time to enjoy it and the amazingness it has to offer.

As I said, Christmas has always been my favourite holiday. I used to celebrate New Year's, but I sort of outgrew that years ago; I never outgrew Christmas though. There's something special about Christmas; the lights, the music, the snow - if you're lucky enough to get snow. It's just a magical season which, sadly, most people don't seem to get a chance to enjoy once they get older. Christmas still brings out the childhood excitement in me. Seeing Santa at the mall, looking at the colourful decorations, it brings back special memories and makes me feel happy.

I understand people's frustration with the commercialism of Christmas. People get put under a lot of stress trying to find presents for friends and family; running up bills, and overspending because "it's that time of the year." Christmas could be a wonderful time, and more enjoyable, if people took some time to ignore the commercialism. Yes, eventually you're going to have to face the stress of Christmas shopping, but you can also make time to do other things such as going skating, or taking a walk and enjoying people's outdoor lights and decorations. Christmas does not have to be as stressful as we make it out to be. Remember, this is the season we're supposed to be kind and loving to each other; everybody needs to take a collective breath, relax, and try to enjoy the small things.

Another thing that has made Christmas less enjoyable over the past couple of years is the debate over whether Merry Christmas is politically correct, or if Happy Holidays should be more widely used so as to not offend anybody. My reaction is who cares? People are way too over sensitive these days, and no matter what you do or say there's always going to be somebody that's offended. To me, Happy Holidays includes New Year's, and can also be used to incorporate other religious celebrations held this time of the year. If you're offended by EITHER Merry Christmas OR Happy Holidays, you need to lighten up. I use both, not because I'm trying to avoid offending anybody, but because they essentially both mean the same thing to me. Use whichever one you want to use, but if other people want to use something else that's their right to do so.

There's so many movies and television specials on this time of the year reminding us about the magic and spirit of the season, why do we have to be so salty and find every small thing we can to complain about? Ultimately, Christmas isn't about the presents or the stress of shopping, Christmas is about the spirit of sharing; sharing time with people you love, sharing the joy of the appearance of lights and decorations, sharing memories of Christmases past. We all need to spend a little less time stressing out, and a little more time enjoying the season for the spirit and magic that it has to offer.

Retail (Comic Strip)

Retail is a comic strip which was created by Norm Feuti, and which debuted on January 1, 2006. If you're not familiar with Retail, you're not alone. I hadn't heard of Retail until this past July when I came across it by happenstance. It is easily the best comic strip I had never heard of; a hidden gem which everybody who's ever worked in retail can relate to, and should be reading.

Like I previously stated, I discovered Retail completely by happenstance. I had just quit the retail job I had been working for nearly 8 years, and was treating myself to a mini vacation visiting my grandfather. One day, as we were out to lunch and waiting for our food, I noticed a newspaper laying on a table and opened to the comic section; I decided to read it as we waited, and that's the day I discovered Retail. It was the July 23, 2014 strip, and, having spent nearly 8 years working retail, I knew the comical confusion of the strip far too well. I wrote down the name of the comic strip in my phone's notepad, because I wanted to remember the strip for later so I could find out more about it. 

Since my initial discovery of Retail, I have since found it's official website - retailcomic.com. I decided to start from the beginning of the strips creation (the logical thing to do), and have since read up to around July 2008. I still have 6+ years of the comic to get caught up on, but it's definitely been worth the time reading. Retail is set in Grumbel's, a fictional big chain department store, with everyday interactions that anybody who has ever worked in retail can relate to. From what I've read so far, the story revolves around 4 main characters -Marla, Stuart, Val, and Cooper - and a handful of secondary characters. There's also a bunch of recurring secondary characters, such as Courtney, Lunker, and Jerry.

Marla is the store Assistant Manager; although she ends up doing not only her own work, but most of the work of the store manager as well. She has been working retail for quite a while, and although it seems like there's still a love for doing what she does buried deep inside her, Marla has become cynical thanks to years of bad customers, as well as policies put in place by home office (the higher ups) which are counter productive to being able to get proper work done at store level. 

Stuart is the store manager of Grumbel's - although he passes off as much work of his as he can to Marla. While Marla is a cynic who is constantly questioning the decisions made by home office, Stuart gladly and willingly goes along with any changes that are made, quite often trying to convince Marla that home office knows what it's doing. Stuart, although a complete company man, seems to also be well meaning; he doesn't go out of his way to make his employees lives miserable (except occasionally Cooper's).

Val is a longtime sales associate of Grumbel's, and Marla's best friend. When she's not dealing with customers, Val can often be found lending a sympathetic ear to Marla as she vents her rage about customers/Stuart/home office/etc. Val tends to go with the flow and seems happy to be a sales associate, having indicated on a few occasions that she has no interest in moving up to a management position.

Cooper is the many layered onion of Retail. Cooper is the character who I can most identify with. He has a love/hate relationship with Grumbel's; he loves his coworkers and at times seems to love his job, but he hates the politics involved with the company - such as not being able to work more than 35 hours a week because then the company would have to give him medical benefits. Cooper also HATES interacting with customers, often talking down to them in a condescending manner when they ask him simplistic and stupid questions. Cooper works in the stock room, and on the floor putting out and setting up merchandise. When shipments slow down (like after Christmas), Cooper will put his hatred of customers aside and work in the shoe department, that way he still gets his normal hours instead of having them cut back. When Cooper finds down time - which is usually often - he can be found working on his blog, stacking boxes in unusual and artistic ways, or relaxing at his secret hiding spot (Cooper's Lounge) up on the roof.

Of course, as I mentioned, there's also quite a few secondary characters. I won't go through them all, but here's a couple of them.

Jerry - Grumbel's District Manager (Stuart's boss). Jerry is an ass. While he gets along with Stuart, he and Marla (who he calls Darla) have a mutual dislike for each other.

Courtney - Sales associate. Anybody who's worked retail knows a Courtney; somebody who really doesn't care about the job, she's just there for the pay cheque. Courtney is often late, calling in sick, and cancelling shifts. When Courtney is at work, she's frequently rude to the customers, and makes it clear that she'd rather be anywhere else.

Lunker - Assistant stock room attendant. Lunker was brought in to help Cooper in the stock room during busy parts of the year. Although slow, Lunker is a well meaning and lovable guy who Cooper gets along with very well. Lunker is big and strong, and Cooper usually gets him to do most of the heavy lifting.

Scott - Marla's boyfriend. Scott also works in the same mall as Marla, as a bartender at Dave's Carousing Cantina. Although I have done a bit of research into the history of the comic strip and I know what eventually happens to Marla and Scott, because I've only read up to a certain point in their storyline, I'm still referring to Scott as Marla's boyfriend.

I don't know much about the cartoonist, Mr. Feuti, but I do know - having worked a lot of retail myself - that he must have had a lot of experience in retail stores. Retail is a humorous, and quite often very accurate look at what it's like to work in a retail environment. I look forward to continuing my journey in reading this comic strip, and I cannot recommend it enough to others. If you're not already reading Retail, you should really start; it's quite possibly the best comic strip that you're not reading.

retailcomic.com

Trying Stand-Up

In my last blog post on here I talked about my comedic inspirations, and how they helped get me through some tough times in my life. As I grew older I started to listen to more comedians, both from the older generation and newer generation. Comedy is something that meant a lot to me, and I had aspirations of becoming a stand-up comic - or at least attempt to become one. A few months before my 16th birthday, I would get my opportunity.

May 8, 2000 will be a day I will always remember for a couple of reasons. First of all, my favourite hockey team, the New Jersey Devils, beat my hometown Toronto Maple Leafs 3-0 in a first round playoff game. What made the game so memorable was not the fact New Jersey won, but that they held Toronto to just six shots on goal..... FOR THE ENTIRE GAME! Secondly, May 8, 2000 will be a day I always remember because it was the day I made my stand-up debut; ironically, it's also the birthday of one of my idols, Don Rickles.

The way I happened to get my chance at doing stand-up was this: Yuk Yuk's comedy club at Yonge and Eglinton in Toronto (now Absolute Comedy Club), used to host amateur night every Monday. If you were interested in taking part, you had to phone early in the day and leave your name on an answering machine. The club would then pick a bunch of people at random to try out, and you would have to call back in the afternoon to find out if you had made the cut. The day I made the cut, I had actually just finished doing physiotherapy for a knee injury I had the time. After my physio was done, I called the number for Yuk Yuk's and was elated when I heard my name on the list for that night. I immediately rushed home, called as many people as I could, then got ready to do my first stand-up gig.

I got to the club probably about an hour and a half before the show actually started, and I was a nervous wreck! Even though I had prepared jokes that I had been testing on a few of my friends for months, this was going to be in front of a live paying audience, and if I bombed, it was going to be embarrassing. I kept trying to calm my nerves, talking to the waiters and bartenders, exploring the club - I even decided to look at all the photos of comedians who had performed at Yuk Yuk's (that part did not help with my nervousness). The stage was so much smaller than I had expected; I had watched a lot of stand-up specials, and the stage always looked bigger on television, so I was shocked when I saw how small it was. It was getting closer and closer to show time, and I was getting more nervous. Fortunately my friend Jay and his cousin Megan showed up to support me, and that helped calm my nerves somewhat - also, I will always be grateful to them for their support on that night, it meant more to me than they know.

Finally, it was showtime. It wasn't a very large crowd, and I was unsure who was there as other amateurs, and who was there purely as paying patrons. Additionally, I had no idea when I was going to be on, they don't tell you beforehand. I was hoping I would be called up early so that I could get things over with fast and then enjoy the rest of the show. Unfortunately for me, I was not called up early; and the longer I waited to be called up, the more nervous I was getting. As the night wore on, I was hardly paying attention to the other comedians that were going on because I was drowning in nerves and a sense of "what am I doing here?" If I remember correctly, I think there were a total of 10 amateurs plus the headliner there that evening, and I ended up being the 6th or 7th person called up. When I finally got up there, I was trying to do everything in my power not to lose control and show the nervousness I was feeling. I got on the small stage, and then was hit by the blinding lights that focus on the comedian, and immediately all the jokes I had planned, I completely forgot. I tried to remember them as best as I could, and a few of them went over well with the audience, but for the most part I completely bombed! I ended up pulling myself off stage before my time was up, and tried to forget about what had just happened as I sunk into my chair.

The rest of the night went alright, a few of the final comedians - and the MC - took some shots at me, which I completely expected; but overall, the rest of the comedians were enjoyable. I tried to forget my failure, and instead focus on the fact that at least I had lived out a dream of attempting stand-up comedy. That was the last time I did stand-up in a professional setting; however, I would try my hand at stand-up one more time, a couple of years later. My friend Andy was in a band and they happened to be in a show, and he asked me if I wanted to perform some stand-up before they went on. I took the opportunity, and this time my set went much better. I still didn't think I did that well, but it was nice being complemented by strangers that I didn't know after I had come off the stage - and it certainly didn't go anywhere near as bad as Yuk Yuk's.

Overall, I'm happy with my experience doing stand-up in front of an audience. It's one thing to tell jokes with your friends and have them tell you you're funny, it's an ENTIRELY different experience telling jokes in front of strangers and not getting that friendly reassurance. I still like to try and make people laugh, but I at least know now that I don't have what it takes to be a professional comic.

An Open Letter of Thanks to Don Rickles and Bob Newhart

You often hear musicians tell stories in interviews about how they have fans approach them, and send them letters, saying that their music helped inspire and uplift them. You hear about fans battling depression and getting through it thanks to music that touched them. I have had a similar experience in my life, except it was comedy, not music, which got me through my troubled times. It was because of the comedy of people like Don Rickles, Bob Newhart, Bill Cosby, and a few others that I am here today.

I didn't have the best childhood; and because of that, I was full of anger and always getting myself into trouble. I started receiving suspensions from school on a regular basis starting when I was in Grade 4. It was during this time when I discovered my dad's old LP collection in the basement. I started going through the records to see what was there; there was a bunch of great stuff from the 50's and 60's, but what I became interested in was the collection of comedy albums which he had. He had plenty to choose from, and I wasn't sure which one to listen to first. I was somewhat familiar with Cosby's standup (though I mostly knew him from television), so I wanted to try something different.

The first album I put on was Don Rickles Speaks! I didn't get a lot of the references at the time, but that didn't matter, it still made me laugh. I enjoyed how effortlessly Don delivered insulting, yet humorous comments, towards the celebrities and politicians of the day. After listening to that record, and quickly becoming a fan of Don's, I put on Hello Dummy. I laughed harder at the second album than I did at the first, probably because it was more of a stand-up act than talking about references I didn't understand. I became overjoyed and inspired. THIS is what I wanted to do; to be able to release my frustration in a way which would generate laughter instead of repercussions.

After listening to - and enjoying - Don's records, I decided to give Bob Newhart a try. He made me laugh just as much as Rickles, but in a different way. While Don had a sharp wit - and even sharper tongue - which just rattled off jokes rapid-fire, Bob built up a story in his joke telling. Bob was also a master at pausing to let the story of the joke build; something which he needed to do because a lot of jokes consisted of him having a conversation with another character who wasn't there. From this, I really learned the art of timing in joke telling. Although my youthful rebellious side still favoured Don due to his sarcastic insults, I appreciated the comedy style of both men.

Although it would still take me some years to deal with my anger and trouble issues, discovering these men helped me when I needed it most. A lot of the time when my anger got me in trouble it also led to me being depressing, which caused me to make a lot of stupid decisions that could have ended very badly for me. Thankfully, after discovering these men, whenever I would get in trouble I now had an outlet for my frustration; I was still angry and in trouble, but I wasn't making stupid - possibly harmful - decisions. Their comedy, along with the comedy of others, helped to calm me. As I've grown older, and learned how to harness my anger and frustration about things in a positive way, I still look to these men as inspirations. I still watch and listen to their old routines when I'm having a bad day. I still aspire to try and make people laugh and forget about their worries the way Bob and Don helped me.

I've been fortunate enough to see both of these men perform live, although I haven't been fortunate enough to meet them. I would love to meet both men, but i doubt that I ever will. I also doubt that they'll ever see this little blog of thanks, and therefore they'll never know how much their comedy meant to me. But if either of them ever do stumble across this, I want to say thank you. You guys helped pull me through some very rough times that you'll never know about, so thank you for giving me joy in my life at times when I thought there wasn't any to be had.